Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Chuckles

Tomorrow is chemo day. I will require Chuckles. Both Laughter and the Candy.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Chemo Cares... MY BUTT... Naked O'Pimp Licks... Gravity and Gravlox.

BLOG... Blog.. Blog,B L O g.

I would really like a crate full of kittens for christmas. And TMX Elmo really makes me smile. It will be ashamed when i finally get around to Lynching the little fellow.

P.S. The Kittens should be alive, and adoreable. I don't want any dead cats... I also need a sweater with a bunch of pockets to put the kittens in. That way i can carry around like a dozen little kittens in my pockets. You never know when you might need a happy little kitten. And at what point to kittens get depressed and need to take their prozac? I know this sounds crazy, but i recently met a greyhound that was on it, and he was  pretty cool dog.

I'm not sure how much time i really have to blog anymore. It seems like this time could be better used writing lyrics and music, and scripts for hugh grant movies. I think in the story about my life hugh grant would play me... Or maybe Samuel L. Jackson..

I wonder how many times i would have to type hugh grant to get this blog to be the first thing that comes up when you search his name on google.

I think i might eat some toast in the morning.

if i get a crate full of kittens this year. I'm naming one of them Gargamel.

Your Pal Ernie...

Friday, September 3, 2010

So while we are on the topic of bathrooms...

I'm a big strong man. I think ( though it would not be my first choice ) If i had no toilet paper i could wipe bare handed.

Thoughts?

On another note i have way too many light blue hanes boxer briefs.. anybody need some? I promise to make you a good deal.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Other Peoples Bathrooms..

Have you ever gone over to your buddy's house for a bbq, or a party.. and had to use the bathroom? Do you ever feel uncomfortable in that situation? Why do we think this is? And What are we going to do about it. I am proposing that each and every one of you knock on a complete strangers door, and ask them if you can use their facilities. Regardless of what they say... Using your friends restroom will be much more normal and natural.. I mean how could it not be?

and as always....

Don't forget to Shave the Panda.

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Don't Call That Man A Pussy.

Meow, meow meow meow. Meaow mew meow meow mow. Meow Meow MEOW! Mew mew mew Meow, Meow? Meow Meow Meow.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

TWO WORDS.

SPORTS by Huey Lewis and the News.

Ok, I guess that was more like seven words. But only two of them matter.

SHAVE THE PANDA

Friday, August 27, 2010

Dr. Visit 8/27/2010

So today started off fine, just like any other day. Wake up, Pills, Stomach Ache, Work, more Pills, More work, but today to break up the monotony i had scheduled my monthly appt, with my neurologist.  Those of you familiar with my past, probably already know i have brain cancer. What you may not know is that the treatment for my brain cancer has left me with virtually no sex drive. Being a newlywed, you can imagine how this affects my relationship with my wife, that i love more than anything. I just have no desire to have sex with her, or anyone or anything else for that matter.

After months of Hormone therapy and every treatment available, Good ole Dr. K.. Suggested Viagra. Its not that i need it for that purpose, but she claims it will make me desire sex as well as making me rigid... I'm not so sure i believe her.. after all shes the sucker that payed for all those years of med school, how smart can she be... but I'm willing to give it a go. Suggestions? Romantic night out? or Just take it and go? 4 hour Erection...  Here I CUM (come)

This may be the most inappropriate thing i have ever put on the internet... but nobody will read this, so what does it matter.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Suspenders... Business Casual?

I recently received some suspenders that I only intended to wear on stage, as kind of a joke.. Though After wearing them for a while they are actually pretty good at keeping my pants up. I have been losing weight pretty consistently for the past few months, probably due to Chemo, but some days i just don't feel like wearing a belt... So What about suspenders? Business Casual? Or Plumber Chic?

Nobody is reading this so please let me know your opinion...

Friday, August 20, 2010

don't feel like blogging tonight..

Hey Everybody.. I didn't really feel like blogging tonight, so i figured i'd blog about that. I turned off my brain about a half hour ago, so lets see what happens. I bet i'll wake up in the morning next to my beautiful wife. And drive to work. Maybe put some clothes on (Blood or Applesauce) Get yelled at by customers for 8 hours or so, then drive home and repeat the process the next day. I f course won't remember writing this post tomorrow when i log back in. So i'll be just as excited as you are to read it! I guess the not blogging then has turned into a full blown blog entry... Now if only i had some applesauce...

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Why Shave the Panda?

Some people have asked since i put up this blog, why i called it Shave the Panda? The answer is really quite simple... Because he didn't like Nair.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A Day in The E.R.

and George Clooney was nowhere in sight...

So I woke up this morning feeling pretty good. Or so i thought.  This is my week where i don't take my Chemo, so Lynn and i went out last night for ribs. My ALL TIME FAVORITE FOOD! Being that i am a regular chemo receiver i don't generally have much of an appetite, and subsequently don't eat very much, but last night i went a little crazy and ate a whole rack, and ordered seconds.

Flash forward 16 hours, lunch time at work, and i felt like i got hit by a train. My head was spinning, i felt like i was going to faint and i lost the feeling in both of my legs. So i sat down and after making some calls to my Neurologist, they finally called me back and said based on what had happened. I needed to go to the Emergency Room, and get there fast.

After arriving i was checked in quickly and was hoping to have some answers pretty quick.. No such Luck. It was easily 4 hours before i saw the first doctor, and an additional hour to see the neurologist. The took some scans and basically told me that my Shunt was failing, and i would probably need surgery to fix it, and that they were going to keep me overnight. At this point i was feeling a little better, and asked what my other options were. They asked me to wait while they reviewed my scans.

Turns out my shunt was functioning normally. (I'm still not sure i believe thats true all the time but i digress)  If anyone cares... It was just constipation, EPIC CONSTIPATION. but i guess my large intestine gets impacted and presses on the nerves that control my legs. I was also chemo drug withdrawling this morning, and my head just couldn't take it. So With a little help from good friends, Colace, Sennocot, and the Magical Mystery Miralax. I should be good as new in a few days. Heres Hoping

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Best Rocky Road?

As a slightly overweight man, I Have eaten quite a bit of Ice Cream in my Life. The Question I am posting to the world right now, is in your opinion.. Who makes the best Rocky Road, you can buy in your average Grocery Store... The Answer Is Edys, or in some parts of the country Dreyers.. I really don't care what you have to say.. But I felt like posting my opinion as fact. Those of you that might actually read this should get used to this. Its just the kind of person i am. I'm Sure I'll have more useless shit to post in the coming days. I'm currently experimenting with different types of erasable pens!

But in the meantime, If you are going to eat Rocky Road.. Eat Edys. Do it for the Mini Marshmallows. None of that Mallow swirl crap like the other brands. I also think the almonds are dipped in chocolate.

p.s. someone in the house is gassy... i won't say who..

So I have a blog now...

nobody is going to read this... and i really dont  know what i will write about... but its called shave the panda? and thats a win for now.